You need a ringer-T with a bacon sandwich and anti-Republican sentiment plastered across the front of it. You know you do.

Dear Uncle Ted,

How long are you keep reminding all nine of your readers that you’re selling cool crap on CafePress?

- Reader No. 5

Until every Democrat and Independent in America is walking around with a BLT on his or her chest, Dr. Kissinger. So start telling your friends.

Cured meat we can believe in.

Dear Uncle Ted,

Is there any way I can hold the Republicans accountable for the last eight years of ass-hattery and support America’s favorite cured meat at the same time?

- A Concerned Voter With Some Disposable Income

Dear Concerned:

Yes.*

This is the front of the shirt. Awesome, I know.

Mmmmmm. Salty, smoky, fatty political discourse.

There’s also buttons, mugs, bags, kids’ clothing, sweatshirts and underwear. Yes, underwear. (Note: Uncle Ted will send a special Obama-related gift to the first person who buys a “Pro-BLT, Anti-GOP” thong.)

In this historic election year – it’s a sandwich we can believe in.

-Unk.

*Profits will be donated to Obama For America.