Dear Uncle Ted,
What do you think about the recommendation from PETA to Ben and Jerry that they switch from cows milk to breast milk in the manufacturing of their ice cream?
Breast, I mean, Best,
I’m sorry, Miz McGee – I’m too busy right now to answer your letter with the attention it deserves, what with all the praying that those lobster-huggers get their message through…and the application process for the position of Ben and Jerry’s Director of Procurement.
Please, little baby Jesus. Hear. My. Prayer.